Of Comics & Convicts

A collection of short stories that could pertain to anyone but, for legal purposes, pertains specificially to several fictional characters. Enjoy.

I Must Sound Like The Teacher From Charlie Brown.

Let me take this time

To remind the audience

I’m just a talking head

I have no new ideas

But you have no idea

What I’ve just said

I’m shaking hands with strangers

Because that’s all that I can get

The metaphors are lost

In translation once again

You’ll not do very well

Down in the coal mines

In fact you’ll be

The canary in the cage

So just sit tight and

Wait around for your time

So when you die

Your contribution can be made

Somewhere in a coffee shop

On downtown’s Grand avenue

There’s some tears in the cup of coffee

Of a man sketching a note

And he’s apologizing

For the wrongs that he has done

He left the noise in the streets of Chicago

Just to die in the cold

Or so it goes

And tonight when he goes home

And tries to reconnect with his lost love

He’ll find moral ambiguity

And the taste of another man’s blood

It turns out the abandoned can abandon

Even the hand that feeds

Even energy needs consumption

Like another man’s dreams

Or so it goes

(Lyrics. A Prohibition Riot.)

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Never one to complain about the long walk home, he’ll grab a beer from his six pack, but life support can only last so long.

He’ll stagger into a new idea of what is bliss, accompanied by blurred vision and a total lack of inhibitions.

He knows no shame. He’d ask Bill Gates for spare change. He’d say “It’s for the bus,” but in reality I think we all know just what that money’s for. You can tell by the tracks on his arms. And I’m not one to judge but in this case I’d say that it’s fair to suggest that the only way to go is down, from here.

And if we’re speaking in honest terms I think I’d rather watch him burn than to literally know what kind of pain he’s in. I’d hate to hear his dying words. They might be “I care.” Not to mention he’s human and he could actually feel.

(Lyrics. “Loose Change”. A Prohibition Riot)

Population: 5,375

a short story

a not quite final draft…


You don’t get a second chance. That’s a trivial fact, I’m aware. But it’s funny, well maybe not funny. It’s curious that this is a fact that I don’t recognize frequently. I think that, had I recognized this fact a little more religiously in my youth, I wouldn’t be in a situation to think about it today.

            Today, by the way, is September 11, 1968. It’s my twenty-seventh birthday and I’m sitting in an empty dining room in central Illinois. I don’t own the keys to this house. I don’t own the keys to any house. The air conditioning is broken and an oscillating fan dries the sweat on my forehead. The phone won’t ring today. Nobody will knock on the front door to wish me a happy birthday. I’ll be lucky to find enough change in my dirty jeans pockets to acquire another six-pack of beer.

            And I usually am just that lucky.

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